Don't Tell Me I'm Pretty

I've never actually liked being told I was pretty, perhaps because I never thought I was. Perhaps, and bare with me on this one, because I've always known I'm not. I'm not pretty in terms of what modern day American society has dubbed as "beautiful." Large eyes, small nose, plump lips, high cheekbones, perfect unmarked skin. Those are the things that are "pretty" and those are the things I will never have. The thing that makes me feel pretty is makeup, because with makeup, I can have all of those desired qualities in 40 minutes or less. Almost every woman in America wears makeup, yet it is such a sore taboo subject. "You don't need it" "You look fine without it". The only thing I have to say is, it's my face. I'm not exactly sure why drawing a black line across my upper eye lid makes me feel beautiful, but it does, so leave me alone.
Forth of July morning, I was running late to our town's parade. I didn't have time to put on the funky blue eye-liner or the neat red lips that I wanted to wear in order to look patriotic, or whatever, so I threw them in my purse and started applying them on the street corner as I waiting for the festivities to start. An older man walking past approached me and repeatedly told me to stop, because girls don't need all that on their face. I appreciated his concern for young girls feeling the need to "cake it all on" to please the masses, but his judgmental eyes were what I had a problem with. Any makeup artist in the world will tell you that makeup shouldn't be used to hide yourself, but only to enhance the features that you are already given. My thoughts are so conflicting. Girls don't need makeup. We don't. But, the human race as a whole has evolved to a point of not needing any sort of body hair whatsoever, yet we still have it, don't we? It's cosmetic. Hair is a security blanket, and so is makeup. Of course I would never tell a girl to pack on the foundation, cover those zits, smoke out those lashes, paint on those lips, but if she does SO WHAT? Why are we trying to make girls feel awful with AND without makeup. They need to be born flawless or gtfo? Guess what sweetheart, anybody can be a natural beauty in about an hour.
I'll admit, some mornings I'm bitter about makeup. I look in the mirror at my imperfect skin and I think about all the boys who bullied me in Jr High School for not being "pretty enough" and I think to myself, I was never ugly, I just didn't wear enough shit on my face for their liking. Although, I have trouble leaving the house without makeup on, I don't feel ashamed because of it. The way I see it, girls love makeup, and if some blush or some colorful lids make us feel good about ourselves, why should we not wear them? Why should we be forced to feel lessened because whats on our outside doesn't always match what's on our inside? The picture above is my most recent insta-selfie. I don't care about the number of likes, or the number of girls/boys that told me I looked great. I care about the comment a friend of mine made about my makeup, telling me it looked fantastic. THOSE are the kind of compliments that mean something to me. I took time to put on makeup, to use my face as a canvas and paint a picture over top of a confident girl who loves herself. I got to pick out my eye shadow, I did not get to pick out my face. Please, don't tell me I'm pretty. Compliment me on my art, not on the type of paper it was created upon.

With or without makeup, the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind.